A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever

A USA Today Bestseller As seen on The Today Show! Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the absolute worst birds ever to plague planet Earth. Featuring an all-new scientific scale devised by the author that proves how awful birds really are. We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up. Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why with furious (but actually quite lovely) full-color drawings. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such as: The absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone) The utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher) The outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker) And many more Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . . LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this illustrated handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true. BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is the author of the bestselling Field Guide to Dumb Birds series, including The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, and The Big Dumb Bird Journal, and (in a startling turn of enthusiasm) OMFG, BEES! ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This uproarious guide to all things wings includes migratory maps, tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. TRULY THE WORST BIRDS---A MUST-HAVE GUIDE: Even if you're familiar with the winged disasters from Matt's previous guidebook/warnings, buckle up. From the introduction: "Birds are TERRIBLE. I have spent years, YEARS, of my life studying birds. Watching them. Analyzing their behaviors. Determining their ‘contributions’ to the world. I am an expert, so believe me when I tell you this: Birds are horrible people. And the birds included in THIS book are, by far, the worst of the lot. Of all the shit-eating birds that I’ve had the misfortune to catalog over the course of my career as a scientist and professional bird critic, THESE birds take the absolute SHIT-CAKE!" GREAT GIFT FOR BIRD LOVERS: Pair with The Field Guide to Dumb Birds Sticker Book to create the perfect present for full-on bird experts and amateur birders alike. Perfect for: Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts People who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh) Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starter Gift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover